{"id":50184,"date":"2022-02-17T16:45:24","date_gmt":"2022-02-17T08:45:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hongkongliving.com\/?p=50184"},"modified":"2026-02-20T09:31:53","modified_gmt":"2026-02-20T09:31:53","slug":"visible-i-see-you-jessica-park","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hongkongliving.com\/visible-i-see-you-jessica-park\/","title":{"rendered":"Jessica Park on transition, resilience and life after change"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Jessica Park speaks candidly about her late-life transition, the losses she endured, and the quiet confidence she has built in the years since.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I first met Jessica Park, a tall transgender woman with a blonde ponytail and soft bluish grey eyes, in 2012 as a client at Professional Wills, the company she founded in 2006 after selling a successful security firm she started 33 years prior. Jessica ventured into both businesses knowing little about either. In her words, \u201cTo start [the will writing business], I checked the dictionary and found there are two Ls in Wills. I thought that was a good start.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In April of this year, I returned to Professional Wills to take their company headshots. At 70 years strong, Jessica wasn\u2019t too keen. Her staff warned me that Jessica dislikes having her photo taken and probably won\u2019t smile. After the business portrait shoot (she did smile a little), I suggested that we take some family photos of Jessica, her wife Tana and their two cat babies, who are permanent grumpy fixtures at the office. That was when I saw a different Jessica, one who couldn\u2019t stop smiling. Now I understand why. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When launching \u201cVisible\u201d I thought of Jessica, as a striking example of a person who is identity secure. Jessica was hesitant to do the interview as Visible is about \u201cinspiring women over 50\u201d. She wanted to be clear that she will only speak from the perspective as a transgender woman, not representing women. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jessica agreed to meet me for coffee, and over two hours, she relayed the incredibly emotional experiences of her transition, which happened in her late-40\u2019s. She was honest about the deep pains she went through during the darkest times –including the loss of her family and excommunication from her church \u2013 along with happier tales of the many people who supported her along the way, and the joys she has found in living the life as her \u201candrogynous\u201d self with her Thai wife Tana, whom she met 21 years ago. \u201cI was working in Bangkok – looking for a husband, I thought,\u201d she smiles, \u201cand instead found Tana.\u201d

Read more: Visible: I see you Renate Boerner<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pre-transition, Jessica was a masculine, motorcycle-riding, fixed wing aircraft and rescue helicopter pilot with the Royal Hong Kong Auxiliary Air Force from 1971 to 1994. She was married with three kids and ran a successful business with 110 employees in offices across Asia. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jessica\u2019s gender confusion came to a head between 1996-98. \u201cPandora\u2019s box was opened, and I was a very messed up individual,\u201d she recalls. To try to understand what was happening, she attended transgender conferences around the world. \u201cI was stunned seeing such an array of good people trying to understand themselves and doing so with such conviction and \u2013 I could say strength or courage \u2013 but I prefer trepidation,\u201d she states. \u201cTo understand, one has to accept that maybe there is no understanding, and it is just so.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The next few years Jessica describes as \u201chellish, with hundreds of nights of screaming \u2013 just trying to understand.\u201d She lost her relationships with her former wife and children and\u2026 lives with that. Jessica entered a full depressive state. She was straddling both gender identities, wearing men\u2019s clothing at work and women\u2019s clothing on the weekends. In 1998 she swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills and woke up hallucinating in a straitjacket fastened to a bed at Queen Mary Hospital. After three days of confinement, Jessica was finally allowed to leave. She went downstairs to the cafeteria and ordered a bowl of porridge. As she sat eating what she describes as \u201cthe most delicious bowl of porridge ever\u201d, while the sun streamed in through the windows, comforting and warming her. Jessica thought to herself \u201cThat was a close call. This is the last day I will wear men\u2019s clothing. I\u2019m going to be Jessica.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
Read more: Visible: I see you, Katie Flowers<\/a><\/h5>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n

The people that brought her to the hospital unconscious were her church friends. A year later she was publicly, humiliatingly excommunicated from the same church without concern for her life or caring of her difficulties. At the time, this reinforced to Jessica all the shame, guilt, and self-hatred she was feeling. Jessica sought help from counsellors (twice a week for a period) and found support from others, including colleagues and her employees. She set up a transgender support group in Hong Kong in the early 00\u2019s and spoke at transgender conferences to help others. She grew from the depths of despair to become the confident and caring person she is today. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jessica advised, \u201cPeople like to say, \u2018I have no regrets.\u2019 Be careful who you say those words to. Of course, I have regrets. I have many \u2013 but not being Jessica. I think of the pain that my situation caused my former wife and children, and one has to live with that \u2013 but at least living – I am\u201d. After years of active repair, Jessica has a good friendship with her former wife. They plan to travel abroad together to see their children post-pandemic. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jessica\u2019s best memories about her transition include the day she had her ears pierced and the day she received her passport with her name \u201cJessica Park\u201d and her gender \u201cFemale\u201d acknowledged in print. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And of course, there is Tana, whose nickname is Goi. Jessica affectionately calls her \u201cGooi.\u201d \u201cTana is the only person in the world I\u2019m in love with,\u201d Jessica beams. \u201cIt was nice to find someone who didn\u2019t think there was something wrong with me. She has understanding, indifference, listening, empathy, warmth and is non-judgmental. What more does humanity want?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Jessica Park speaks candidly about her late-life transition, the losses she endured, and the quiet confidence she has built in the years since. I first met Jessica Park, a tall transgender woman with a blonde ponytail and soft bluish grey eyes, in 2012 as a client at Professional Wills, the company she founded in 2006 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":50185,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7507],"tags":[4978,4988],"class_list":["post-50184","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","tag-jessica-park","tag-jill-carter"],"yoast_head":"\nJessica Park on transition, resilience and life after change - Hong Kong Living<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Jessica Park shares her deeply personal journey of transition, resilience and identity, and reflects on life, loss and finding peace in Hong Kong.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/hongkongliving.com\/visible-i-see-you-jessica-park\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Jessica Park on transition, resilience and life after change - 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